This shot is from last winter but is an adequate sentiment regarding the state of my art life right now. The space is empty - of me. But not in my head or heart:-) Next week this cast is supposed to come off and physio starts so that the ankle can be strengthened and I will once again be able to hop, skip, or jump my way out here in all weathers! I just hope I am not too rusty. I have not even been sketching. It's just not there for me right now. I do, however, sense things happening in my little grey cells, especially way in back, hiding underneath the blankets I have piled on to protect my fragile psyche while I heal. New paintings are fermenting...I can tell. Even I am not sure what they will be yet. It's kind of exciting, really, to be surprised when I start new work, especially when I carefully plan it and then it digresses from that plan.
Good news, though, in that my latest bone density scan shows improvement! That is the first time in a long time. The Strontium and Super D that I take daily must be working. I gave up on bisphosphonates (Fosamx, Actonal,) etc. after being on them for about seven years. They help in the beginning but only make the bones more brittle in the long run. Yes, I have osteoporosis. My mother had it and my grandmother, both quite severely. I refuse to give in to this. There is a utube video at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DVfG-YiM4ZM. It is reputed to be Ginger Rogers at 92, dancing with her 29 year old grandson, but is in fact a 79 year old British lady dancing with her 35 year old instructor - but who cares - it is a wonderful example of what refusing to give in to feebleness in old age can do! Of course, I do know that some things can't be overlooked, ignored, or refused - some illnesses come without warning, without any way of fighting them, and without fairness concerning how well one has taken care of oneself. Still, I hope to maintain a modicum of dignity and strength as I age, and the courage to speak up about what is important to me. I want to hang on to all of my marbles as long as possible:-)
Glad you are on the mend, Karen....look forward to seeing some beautiful painting from you soon.
ReplyDeleteCarol B. (Google has made me anonymous again!)
karen, thank you for sharing your thoughts during what must be a very difficult time for you. again, i am so sorry this has happened and to hear of your osteoporosis. your outlook has and will carry you through anything. i wish you a speedy recovery, a healing of all situations and health issues and a return to your studio and painting as soon as possible! you wise words and outstanding work are sorely missed.
ReplyDeleteHi Carol - so sorry Google has made you Anonymous AGAIN - what did you ever do to them that they should treat you so shabbily!? Still, I'm glad you stick around and post here once in a while - I would miss you.
ReplyDeleteSuzanne, thanks for the good wishes - I really appreciate them! I actually rarely think about having osteo, it just isn't a big issue for me (until I do something like break a bone:-) I'm feeling almost ready to jump back in the game now - been in my studio for hours today for the first time! No painting, but catching up on lots of stuff.
What a gorgeous and oh so lonely studio, Karen! I hope that it is filled with joy very soon! My mom now has what is called "Boniva bone," or osteonecrotic jaw bone. Something like that. Her jawbone is disintegrating due to taking Fosamax and Boniva. I'm not sure the help is worth the harm. I know not everyone deals with this but it is a possibility for some. My mom is apparently one of the "some."
ReplyDeleteWishing you easy therapy and quick dancing to that studio.
Hi Ms. Bohemian:-)
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry about your mom having the problem with her jaw. I had been aware of that and it was one of the reasons I stopped taking the meds and switched to Strontium. I had to request my local health food store to stock it. It seems to be working well for me. Also just read on your WordPress blog about the problems you're having getting that to work right for you. Maybe you should, as you mentioned, take a new name and go back on to Blogger which I think is easier to deal with. Thanks for the good wishes! Right back at 'cha!
Thanks for posting on my blog yesterday. It was good to hear from you and I appreciate your comments.
ReplyDeleteI love the quote "To the ordinary public you (an artist) are the people who ran away to join the circus." I'm getting quite a chuckle from this as when I was a kid I wanted to run away and join the circus. I think in a way, I have. I'm going to keep that in mind, especially next weekend.
You also mentioned exercise. I meant to mention how grateful I am to myself for joining the gym in my blog but then thought to wait until another day. I've been going to the gym 2-4 times a week for the past year and a half. Having a place to go away from the studio and home & the exercise I get from the treadmill and resistance training has changed my life. The payoff is more energy, a greater sense of physical well-being & deeper serenity; I heartily recommend Exercise as vital to maintaining & even increasing the creative flow.
I hope your ankle is feeling better and any projects on your inner back-burner are realized in your studio sometime soon.
Oh Karen I'm so sorry for you my friend. I'm also sorry that I've been absent from visiting your blog for a while. I'm glad to hear that things are beginning to perk up and what I love the most in this post is your positive attitude. I hope you're doing well and that you continue to do and can get back to painting and creating again soon. I've missed seeing your beautiful works. :)))
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