This shot is from last winter but is an adequate sentiment regarding the state of my art life right now. The space is empty - of me. But not in my head or heart:-) Next week this cast is supposed to come off and physio starts so that the ankle can be strengthened and I will once again be able to hop, skip, or jump my way out here in all weathers! I just hope I am not too rusty. I have not even been sketching. It's just not there for me right now. I do, however, sense things happening in my little grey cells, especially way in back, hiding underneath the blankets I have piled on to protect my fragile psyche while I heal. New paintings are fermenting...I can tell. Even I am not sure what they will be yet. It's kind of exciting, really, to be surprised when I start new work, especially when I carefully plan it and then it digresses from that plan.
Good news, though, in that my latest bone density scan shows improvement! That is the first time in a long time. The Strontium and Super D that I take daily must be working. I gave up on bisphosphonates (Fosamx, Actonal,) etc. after being on them for about seven years. They help in the beginning but only make the bones more brittle in the long run. Yes, I have osteoporosis. My mother had it and my grandmother, both quite severely. I refuse to give in to this. There is a utube video at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DVfG-YiM4ZM. It is reputed to be Ginger Rogers at 92, dancing with her 29 year old grandson, but is in fact a 79 year old British lady dancing with her 35 year old instructor - but who cares - it is a wonderful example of what refusing to give in to feebleness in old age can do! Of course, I do know that some things can't be overlooked, ignored, or refused - some illnesses come without warning, without any way of fighting them, and without fairness concerning how well one has taken care of oneself. Still, I hope to maintain a modicum of dignity and strength as I age, and the courage to speak up about what is important to me. I want to hang on to all of my marbles as long as possible:-)
