Easter ruminations

It has been a beautiful week and now it's Easter, which has turned out not to be so beautiful, but the rain is gentle and just in time for the newly planted veggies. I spent a fair bit of time outdoors enjoying soft breezes and sunshine, although it was still cool enough to warrant wearing a sweater. I even helped some with the veggie planting! And we strung some fencing (our Border Collie, Brandy, had chewed her way through what was there in her zeal to get out and chase the neighbor dogs which come to our fence to taunt our dogs). I even enjoyed that job. Somehow it was a good change from the mental struggle I always have when painting.  I didn't paint at all until today. Now I am tackling the backdrop, which is a series of gauzy fabrics in different colours so the play of light is challenging to say the least. I am actually tempted to put this painting aside and start something else but I guess I'll whittle away at it for a while yet to see what happens. I don't have time to waste on CPR for paintings beyond a certain point and that point will be soon.

A closer look at the backdrop still doesn't show all the colour variations too well on the computer screen. Why did I decide this would be a good idea I ask myself. There is more than enough to challenge my sanity here. As if it isn't working hard enough to maintain some balance already with things as they are in the world. I feel like every decision about what to eat, wear, buy, and live with is a major affront. Are my art supplies eco-friendly? If not how can I fix that? Is it enough that I refuse to shop at Wal-Mart and only buy organic and fair trade food whenever possible (even though it is getting harder to afford to)? Do I attend an artist friend's show reception even though it's two hours away and will take energy resources to get me there and back? What if I only drive the car (a hybrid) once every two weeks instead of once a week to go shopping for groceries in town? Is supporting our troops being a war monger? How long before I stop missing cheese and will my being vegan really make any difference to factory farming or anything else? I weep for the silk worms killed by boiling water when it's time to take their cocoon from them yet I LOVE silk and painting on it. The list is endless - won't bore you with more of it - but then I remember that it is important to "be the change you want to see."  Every small drop falling from the sky eventually fills the ocean. 

Some of my friends question my dedication to animal rights. This week I heard the perfect response in this comment  from "A Bit of Fry and Laurie" - "I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers."