Putting longer hours in the studio now!

       First drawing from the shots I took of Michael. I will want to do careful drawings for each image I intend to paint to make certain I can get the composition I want to and alter any problem areas in the poses. When I work from life I  just start painting right on the canvas but when that isn't an option I like to plan more carefully. I have a couple of ideas for extra elements to add to these also but need to keep that to myself until I know for sure. One of the things I want to do is play with the light/dark areas, maybe over emphasizing them as I have done in this drawing. I also need to compensate for any photo distortions, like the feet here...made them smaller than they look in the photo...didn't want your eye pulled to big feet coming at you.

         I worked out canvas sizes for five paintings. I was going to let the image

dictate the necessary ratio of height to width but was coming up with too many odd sizes which would mean building my own canvases and I just don't feel I want to that any more. I searched out available gallery wrapped sizes from Opus and found some close enough to work with and I can manipulate my drawings to fit. Boy, there was a time when I wouldn't deign to buy a prestretched canvas...I built the frames and did my own stretching, often on quite large canvases. The first time I did use a ready made canvas ( I was on a deadline or something and didn't have time to fuss around) and realized what a total snob I had been about the whole issue. I have continued to build my own canvases whenever I needed an odd size but now there are so many sizes to choose from in the prestretched world that it is less and less necessary and it is a blessing to those of us in a certain age bracket:-)

         Received an Award of Merit for "Girl in a Garden" at the Campbell River Art Gallery members show last friday evening. I'm glad I went, although trying to figure out what to wear almost made me decide to stay home! Nothing looks good on me anymore! What on earth am I going to wear to my son's wedding this coming August? At least I have some time to wallow in that dilemma for a while and maybe even find, or make, something I won't be ashamed to be seen in. 

          In the meantime, if you get a chance, check out Amnesty International and maybe write a letter to free a political prisoner or save a life. Much more important than trying to be fashionable.

In the Box At Last!

       It only took about three months of trying but Michael Ward and I finally got together for a photo/drawing session up at my studio. I was seriously beginning to wonder if it would ever happen after all the things that have interfered with past attempts. It was well worth the wait. Michael is a terrific model and very easy to work with. It all went so well we are probably going to do this again some time. Thinking about also getting a female model up here so I can work with two figures in the box. I took over seventy photos and have at least a dozen of those that would be good for paintings, which is phenomenal. Once I get going on the paintings more ideas will come to me and I might end up with a nice series (I hope!). I would love to have a one person show in a good gallery in Vancouver or Toronto, but that is putting the cart before the horse. It's a dream. Doesn't matter if it doesn't happen, I have had a great time putting this together in spite of my nerves over it...and why does this stuff make me nervous? It's like a performance I suppose...I want to put my best foot forward for whatever audience sees the results of this. A sort of stage fright. Michael put me at ease immediately.

       

       

       I also spent some time having Mike wrapped in fabric, both dry and then very wet so it would cling to his body better, but those shots are only marginally successful. I still have in mind a figure-as-landscape idea in my head but a lot of trouble bringing it into focus...showing the connection of human beings to the  earth...or something:-) Parts of those shots worked well. Have to think about this more, which means putting it on the back burner of my brain and letting it simmer on its own. The way it can work will come to me when it's fully cooked.

       

       After the modeling session (several hours) we joined Bob, my husband, in the house and had green tea and homemade apple/peach pie and talked for a couple more hours. Then I made dinner - Bob added extra goodies to the salad; roasted filberts, sliced avocado, and home sprouted alfalfa sprouts. Dinner was vegan spinach/tomato lasagna. I had made a big batch in February for the previous time Michael was supposed to come up here but I ended up freezing most of it. It was even better thawed and reheated in the oven with portobello mushrooms and fresh made marinara over the top than it was when I first made it. The substitute for the ricotta is made with nuts and tofu and absolutely delicious.  Michael ate every bite and seemed to relish it - even a carnivore has to admit that vegan can be tasty when it's done right. Nice with steamed broccoli and Italian olive bread with garlic vegan margarine. 

You can see more of Michael's posing on http://www.modelmayhem.com/MMWard  and http://www.facebook.com/mcgregor.ward

       Michael has a large collection of period costumes to wear for modeling also, including a full suit of armor with chain mail. He also likes to draw and paint and has two grown sons who live with him and nine adoreable Beagles!

Shadow thinking...

       I painted this many years ago from life in about two hours. I had a good friend who willingly sat for me many times for no pay! (I gave her a painting eventually from one of our sessions). The changes that light and shadow make, especially on a face, always intrigue me. I am seeing in my mind's eye another such image and hope to find the right model soon. The cast shadows enliven the highlights and heighten the appreciation of form. Shadows are a wonderful invention!

       I've been reading What Good Are the Arts by John Carey and finding it a bit disheartening. He makes valid statements based on solid scholarship and the conclusions are mainly that one can love and appreciate the arts and still be a vile person. Yet, I find that so many people I meet through my work are truly wonderful and even amazing, often dealing with things in their lives I can't begin to comprehend, (one of my collector's has a schizophrenic daughter). They tell me that my paintings make them happy. They are uplifted and enhanced in their lives by art, and not just mine. One of our blogging family,

Suzanne Berry, has just suddenly lost her life partner, Tim. He was still young...it was so unexpected...and it seems so cruel and pointless. But Suzanne is maintaining strength, dignity, and hope somehow, and still thinking about her painting, and how to let that be an aide in her healing. Her grief is real and intense and it probably will be a bumpy time for her but I feel that she is going to be all right. This is what good the arts are...

                                   

Of Florals and Sprouts and Shiny Stuff

       Finished and just in time to enter the FCA Blossoms show! It is like pulling teeth some days but once I get going I'm all right. 

       We lost power again over the weekend for a day and a half and it snowed pretty much non-stop. All the little buds that have appeared in the last week or so are now shivering under icy mantles and thinking maybe they should have waited a bit longer. In the house we are growing sprouts, at least Bob is. He is as excited about this as any kid with a new toy...made a fairly disgusting sprout bread from sprouts left to grow grassy for too long. It actually doesn't taste too bad but looks so hairy I can't deal with it! But we did have a delicious chow mein with our homegrown mung bean sprouts last night so maybe this new project will turn out to be ok. What Bob has to learn is portion control...only grow enough sprouts to be used by us, two people, for a few days instead of enough to feed the whole Sayward valley area.

     Mike the model is doing well again and modeling for a group down in Cumberland so I guess we will be looking, once again, at setting up a new date for our model-in-a-box thing.  I am almost afraid to dare since every other date has been jinxed and I'm not normally superstitious. If I'm going to make use of the little bit of momentum I've worked up from painting these florals then it is important for me to set up some kind of schedule for working. I have some still life ideas that might be worth trying...would like to go for a few shiny things but nothing too complex. My mind just doesn't seem to be accepting  over-stimulation these days. And I have new glasses waiting to be picked up which should help tremendously with my resolve to work more steadily. This old prescription has been causing headaches and misjudgments and all sorts of havoc when I try to look at stuff to draw or paint. Turns out I have the teeniest start of cataracts also but won't have to be concerned about that for some time. Bob has been looking into dietary helps for this. I am taking Milk Thistle every day for this liver thing - and I still haven't heard from the hospital for a date to get the biopsy done, which is ok with me as the procedure is not high on my list of fun things to do (had it once before). Otherwise I am FINE! I feel FINE. I am actually FINE! I have enough energy for most things and not feeling sick at all and my appetite is good. I have dogs and a husband to keep me warm...and my son is now officially engaged to a wonderful young woman!! Hurray! I think this one is going to take!

       Now, to find some shiny stuff to set up and paint...too bad I don't have a suit of armor lying around in one of my closets. I once did an illustration of a jet engine (back in my illustrator days) and that was way shiny but I don't have any of those handy either. I'll think of something.

Accepting what is

       I suppose it all happens as it is supposed to with total disregard for our own wishes and/or needs. There is a saying that God laughs as you make plans. I am learning slowly (and you'd think 66 years would be enough time for the lesson) to just quietly accept what is. Learning to find joy in spite of all the problems on this planet is a bigger lesson. I can feel compassion without having to deny my own happiness. I think I am beginning to get it. 

       Michael, my male model did not arrive here yesterday. He became very ill mid week and had to go to emergency. He has pulmonary embolism, a very serious, potentially deadly condition. Is the universe in the way? No. Life just is like this sometimes. Dear Michael, I send a big hug and hope for your return to health very quickly, not for my sake but for your own.

       But perhaps I am being shown that another direction is required for my work. That is ok too if I can figure out what it is. I will continue with these two small florals and move on. Winter is coming to a close and we are having a few brighter days now at last. Feeling brighter in my heart too.

Not there yet but I can see the finish line.

       Here I am actually painting every day now! I think I have made it through a mini-crisis and now have some of my motivation back.  Even working on these wood panels, which I am finding I don't care for that much, is helping to get me out here every day for a few hours. A friend said I should stop working on these if I don't like the surface but I am too far along and it is kind of a challenge. The paint wants to smear more than I like and there is no give under the brush. It just makes placing each stroke fussier and more annoying than I like:-) It is hard to explain, especially to anyone who doesn't paint in oils, but the surface makes a big difference. Of course it does for all mediums, doesn't it...  I am supposing this is a good lesson for me, though, working on something new and that forces me to think past the usual way I do things. At least I think I'll have these finished in time to enter the show in Vancouver, that is if I can bring them around to my high standards! Ha. Sometimes I wonder what that even means. Yet, I know when I look at what I've done if it is working or not. I usually know why too. That ability took a long time to develop. For too many years I worked on things not understanding enough about why they were ok or not ok, which meant making the same mistakes over and over. Anyway, these little guys do seem to be working (!) in spite of my misgivings over the surface the paint is going on and maybe I can now move on to some larger, more significant work again. Michael will be here in six days and he is such a good model I would have to be really out of it not to do something pretty nice with him. 

        I reinforced the cardboard box I had made for him two months ago, but it has actually been holding up well. Thinking about making a vegan lasagna for dinner the day he comes...I can make it ahead of time, along with an apple pie, and just put them in the oven when we're nearly ready to eat. I hope he likes vegetables and can live without cheese all over everything...(that has been a hard one for me, actually, but I am accustomed to doing without now and it's ok).

Being with the group...

       Yesterday I traveled down to Black Creek (Courtenay area) to join with the art group again.  It has been many weeks. Only a few of us were present but it was so nice to meet and commiserate after so long! Elaine didn't get to be in the shot because she was busy taking it. She also provided wonderful goodies for us to consume and a chance to see her temporary new digs right down at the waterfront on a tree lined, beautiful area near Miracle Beach. Too bad it was all fogged in but it didn't keep us from laughing and chattering and catching up on everything. I really do need this group every so often to help keep me grounded. 

       As you can see I have continued, slowly, to work on this Peony piece. If I can get this and the Iris finished by the 23rd I can enter them in the upcoming Blossom exhibit at the FCA. If I don't that is ok too. Michael Ward, the model, is now scheduled to come up here on the 17th so I am hoping that nothing gets in the way this time! Our weather was beautiful, except for heavy fog in Campbell River, for a couple of days but now it is back to overcast and rainy but not quite so cold as it was a week ago. 

       My ex Mother-in-law died this week. She was a wonderful woman and I cared very much about her. We had kept in touch even though I was no  longer officially a member of her family and she is going to be missed by a lot of people. At 92 she was still living in her own home, very independent and her death came suddenly - no lingering suffering. 

       Still having to pull motivation out of myself. Feeling dreary and old. The morning walks are helping but I really have to DO something to get my motor tuned up. Having Michael come to model for me next week may do the trick.